Articles by Jeremy

/Articles by Jeremy
Articles by Jeremy 2018-02-23T21:32:48+00:00

Lifekey Counseling
Mindful Counseling for Complex Trauma: Anxiety, Shame, Stuckness

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.” ~Anais Nin

Attachment Styles Defined

Secure: Okay with Self and Other Says, “I’m okay.” Validated by Self and Other Question relationships only when hurting About 50% of general population About 61% of therapists Anxious (aka ‘Preoccupied’ or ‘Relationship Addict’): Okay with Other, anxious when alone Says, “Not enough! I need you!” Externally validated and wants more togetherness, connection to Other Rose-colored glasses – rarely question relationships, take what is offered Familiar with depending on others, can easily fall into victim role About 20% of general population About 10% of therapists Avoidant (aka ‘Dismissive’ or ‘Relationship Avoider’): Okay with Self, anxious with Other Says, “Too much! I need space!” Self-validated and wants more alone time, connection to Self Dark glasses – often questions relationships, seeks ideal relationship Familiar with giving up Self, can easily fall into rescuer/caretaker About 25% of general population About 7% of therapists Mixed or Alternating (aka ‘Disorganized’ or ‘Fearful-Avoidant’): Neither Self nor Other is a consistent resource. Says, “Too much! Not enough! Come close! Go away!” Not validated May dive into relationships, then panic and pull out or push away About 5% of general population About 22% of therapists (General population stats: Levine & Heller. Therapist population: Gunsberg & Hershberg.) References Gunsberg, L., & Hershberg, S. G. (n.d.). Psychoanalytic theory, research, and clinical practice: Reading Joseph D. Lichtenberg (pp. 240-241). Levine, A., & Heller, R. (2010). Attached: The new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find- and keep -love. New York: Jeremy P. Tarcher. Anxious (“Relationship Addict”) Avoidant […]

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2017-05-20T00:47:11+00:00

February 28th, 2017|Categories: Uncategorized|0 Comments

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